I have heard from way more people than I expected that they were following my blog entries from the trip. All I can say is thanks! Thank you for your kind words, thank you for praying for me while I was there, and thank you for allowing me to feel the connection with home through the blog.
It's interesting how the impact of the trip doesn't seem to end with coming home. I find myself battling some of the anger, frustration and even depression that Bob warned the students about. I, somewhat naively, thought I was immune to that. Admittedly, I have enjoyed many meals out since returning home and I have also enjoyed my well stocked pantry with all of my favorite foods (thanks honey!). But somehow even as I enjoy those things, and try to regain weight above my new all time adult low, I feel this pit in my stomach that has nothing to do with hunger. I am struggling to reconcile where I have been and what I have seen, with what my life has become. Even now, as I face the financial uncertainty to stay in ministry, I am battling my desire (that I often misinterpret as need) for comfort. It is so ingrained in me that I cannot seem to release these shackles around my ankles. But yet, I have been changed, at least in my heart. However my heart and my head have long been in conflict. Too often in my life my head has won the battle at the expense of my heart.
I was contacted by someone who was one of the unexpected blog faithful while I was gone. They were simple sharing that they were now asking themselves what is next. I didn't share insights because honestly I had none, and couldn't imagine being so hypocritical to suggest steps for them, when my own are so unclear. I find myself in the uncomfortable position of trusting God completely and totally without being able to see what is ahead. My heart is ready but my mind is screaming no. The conflict rages on.
Jet Lag has proven to be one of those things that I doubted really existed but is all to real. Finally I have started to get more than a few hours of sleep at a time, but I still feel like the plane we took on the way back landed on me. It's funny how, now, everyone tells me how many weeks - not days! - it took them to feel normal after such long travels. I think I am starting to see why so many of the students are planning return visits. It gives you something to put the anxious energy towards, instead of trying to just reconcile a wasteful life here. I have never been so angry about garbage before. I watch in horror, how the family garbage accumulates on a daily basis. Wow! I am truly a crabby person these days.
Anyway - just meant to say thanks. I guess all the rest is just extra. I dare not make any commitments to future blog entry quality or frequency. Let's just chalk it up to a special couple of weeks.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Day 14
Today was a travel day. We awoke at 3am to get everything together and loaded up. The mood was somber to say the least. The van I was to ride in on the 2 hour ride to the airport had an A/C failure at start up. I felt it a fitting goodbye. I gazed at the scenery that is so foreign it might as well be another planet. Even at this incredible early hour the streets are packed with people and traffic. That is the one thing I cannot get over, is the shear mass of humanity in the Philippines. It is just dumbfounding. The ride was uneventful. I was happy for my last can of Pepsi Light (a poor substitute for my beloved Diet Pepsi). I cleaned out 2 of the stores we stopped at for drinks frequently, so I took pride in the fact I had single handily depressed the diet pop market.
We arrived at the Manila airport to another mass of bodies. After a couple of hiccups (I hope to reunite with my suitcase again someday) we cleared the check in counter and proceeded to the gate. We boarded the plane. Much to my delight I discovered I was seated on the upper deck. There was nothing fancier up there but I had never been on the upper deck of a plane so I thought it was cool. After eating or rather avoiding Filipino food for 2 weeks the airplane food seemed amazingly good. How the mighty have fallen! Speaking of food - I know I had promised to stop my culinary critics but this is good one - I discovered why the Filipino spaghetti tastes so weird. For dinner last night we joined the Pessina's at their house while the students chowed in our normal mess area. Winnie Pessina made spaghetti. Now I am no fan of spaghetti back home but Filipino Spaghetti is a whole new kind of dislike for me. And it is the most frequent thing we got next to white rice. I think it was my 4th or 5th day in a row to see spaghetti with a meal. Filipino spaghetti sauce is a very pale, sweet sauce and has strange ingredients such as carrots and even pieces of hot dog. Mrs. Pessina proudly announced she had made real American spaghetti and sure enough it was, complete with meatballs! I asked what made the Filipino spaghetti so different. Banana Ketchup. That would explain it.
The flight was uneventful which is my word of the day. When you are traveling internationally - uneventful is very good. We arrived to Narita airport and started the process of clearing customs and getting bags. Most of our checked bags are supposedly going through to Chicago so we did not get them. I hope I see it again someday! The critical detail of which hotel the airline was putting us up was a mystery for awhile but some clever detective work paid off and we were on our way. The hotel is nice and has free Internet (obviously!). We discovered there was a free van into the downtown part of Narita - Tokyo is actually about an hour away so was out of the question. We made our way to the McDonald's for a quick meal and then some sight-seeing. Well McDonald's in Narita does not take credit cards. Thus began an epic search for an Americano friendly cash station. Let me tell you the experience of being in a foreign country where few people speak the language, signs are all gibberish, and people don't really like you based on what nationality you are - well, it's not so fun. We parked everyone in McDonald's and Bob,Bobby,Jeff Rice and I set off in search of money. Finally because Jeff Rice makes friends in a nano second we found some sympathetic co-patriots that clued us in to the fact that 7-11 was the only cash station that would work. Truly it was oh thank heaven for 7-11! The thought of return to our rag-tag, starving crew empty handed was terrifying. I pictured Garrett with packets of barbecue sauce, fork and knife in hand, glaring at me like the Christmas Goose. We feasted on McDonald's. Afterwards I enjoyed the bliss that is a heated toilet seat. I will not go into graphic detail other than to say the McDonald's toilet seats have more features than my car at home. Both the before and after experience at McDonald's was delightful.
Now I am back at the hotel. Tomorrow morning is going to be a long day as I will travel all day and get home in the morning which means I will be up for nearly 24 hours before I next see a bed.
It has been an amazingly impactful and amazingly difficult trip for me. I don't want to rush to come to any conclusions yet about what all this trip was about for me. I think some of that is yet to be worked out. I just know tomorrow I get to see my family and that is about the best thing I can think of right now. I plan on hibernating for a few days before I jump back into the grind. Thanks for following along and all the nice comments I have received. I hope this journey of mine has been a blessing to you and causes you to ask the question of what is next for you like I am asking myself. God Bless. I hope to share the stories and pictures with you in person very soon.
We arrived at the Manila airport to another mass of bodies. After a couple of hiccups (I hope to reunite with my suitcase again someday) we cleared the check in counter and proceeded to the gate. We boarded the plane. Much to my delight I discovered I was seated on the upper deck. There was nothing fancier up there but I had never been on the upper deck of a plane so I thought it was cool. After eating or rather avoiding Filipino food for 2 weeks the airplane food seemed amazingly good. How the mighty have fallen! Speaking of food - I know I had promised to stop my culinary critics but this is good one - I discovered why the Filipino spaghetti tastes so weird. For dinner last night we joined the Pessina's at their house while the students chowed in our normal mess area. Winnie Pessina made spaghetti. Now I am no fan of spaghetti back home but Filipino Spaghetti is a whole new kind of dislike for me. And it is the most frequent thing we got next to white rice. I think it was my 4th or 5th day in a row to see spaghetti with a meal. Filipino spaghetti sauce is a very pale, sweet sauce and has strange ingredients such as carrots and even pieces of hot dog. Mrs. Pessina proudly announced she had made real American spaghetti and sure enough it was, complete with meatballs! I asked what made the Filipino spaghetti so different. Banana Ketchup. That would explain it.
The flight was uneventful which is my word of the day. When you are traveling internationally - uneventful is very good. We arrived to Narita airport and started the process of clearing customs and getting bags. Most of our checked bags are supposedly going through to Chicago so we did not get them. I hope I see it again someday! The critical detail of which hotel the airline was putting us up was a mystery for awhile but some clever detective work paid off and we were on our way. The hotel is nice and has free Internet (obviously!). We discovered there was a free van into the downtown part of Narita - Tokyo is actually about an hour away so was out of the question. We made our way to the McDonald's for a quick meal and then some sight-seeing. Well McDonald's in Narita does not take credit cards. Thus began an epic search for an Americano friendly cash station. Let me tell you the experience of being in a foreign country where few people speak the language, signs are all gibberish, and people don't really like you based on what nationality you are - well, it's not so fun. We parked everyone in McDonald's and Bob,Bobby,Jeff Rice and I set off in search of money. Finally because Jeff Rice makes friends in a nano second we found some sympathetic co-patriots that clued us in to the fact that 7-11 was the only cash station that would work. Truly it was oh thank heaven for 7-11! The thought of return to our rag-tag, starving crew empty handed was terrifying. I pictured Garrett with packets of barbecue sauce, fork and knife in hand, glaring at me like the Christmas Goose. We feasted on McDonald's. Afterwards I enjoyed the bliss that is a heated toilet seat. I will not go into graphic detail other than to say the McDonald's toilet seats have more features than my car at home. Both the before and after experience at McDonald's was delightful.
Now I am back at the hotel. Tomorrow morning is going to be a long day as I will travel all day and get home in the morning which means I will be up for nearly 24 hours before I next see a bed.
It has been an amazingly impactful and amazingly difficult trip for me. I don't want to rush to come to any conclusions yet about what all this trip was about for me. I think some of that is yet to be worked out. I just know tomorrow I get to see my family and that is about the best thing I can think of right now. I plan on hibernating for a few days before I jump back into the grind. Thanks for following along and all the nice comments I have received. I hope this journey of mine has been a blessing to you and causes you to ask the question of what is next for you like I am asking myself. God Bless. I hope to share the stories and pictures with you in person very soon.
Lucky Day 13
Well, Day 13, which was our last full day in the Philippines, was anything but lucky. We were supposed to go out and help with the construction of the homes at Baloc for the 5 families that are being relocated from the dump. You may recall my early post about how for somewhere around $1000-$1200 a house is being constructed for families that are currently leaving in the dump site in absolutely filthy conditions. They have to make the payments of about $70 a month after that. It was another scorcher day. Bob and Vicky had to run into San Pablo to take care of some business and that ran late. We were just loading up to leave when our lunch came out so we quick sat down for some food. After eating we drove out to the site but could not find the homes. Suddenly the truck started acting up and actually overheated on the side of the road. To properly understand this, you must realize the way the Filipino's drive makes me look like an old woman. So being on the side of the road as the kamikaze drivers whizzed by was exciting to say the least. Finally one of the drivers from the camp came to our rescue. After getting the truck resuscitated we eventually found the construction site and got to see the houses being built. The entire house is about the size of one room in my townhouse yet it is an incredible blessing to the people that will be moving in, hopefully in a few weeks.
After seeing the homes we went into town to take care of some errands and headed back to Santa Nino. The dark cloud of dread of the last night get together at FTC was starting to descend. Many of the students were already getting very emotional at the thought of saying goodbye to the kids. On the ride over to Santissimo the tears were flowing. We got out of the truck to find many of the FTC kids in the exact same state. I talked for quite a bit with a girl name Krishelle. She is slender girl with a huge smile and coy eyes. She somehow exudes shyness yet fierceness all at the same time. She seemed especially sad and I was somewhat taken back by the fact that she was expressing it to me. I am really amazed how fast these kids make connections. They are so hungry for tenderness and love because of the backgrounds they come from. For someone who is not used to giving of myself in an emotional way so freely it is a little unnerving. I used the opportunity to share some ICNU stuff with her and give her my motto of Students are the Most Powerful Force on the Planet. I told her that her story was an inspiration to me and others back home and that I was going to continue to share the story of FTC. We all get discouraged at times and can fall victim to the thought that what we do does not matter. Even contemplate giving up, but I told her that what they do at FTC does matter, and it does affect far more people than they realize. They are an inspiration because they have taken the opportunities God has provided and even against remarkable odds have pulled themselves up by the boot straps. I told Krishelle how impressed I was at how the FTC kids were involved in the youth services and the adult services and how they were being the most powerful force by influencing so many people. It was a cool moment, I think for both of us.
The night went on with some games that combined Americano's with Filipino's. It was a ton of fun even for a non-game guy like me. The pinnacle of the evening was a massive cake fight. Most of us were covered in cake from the shoulders up. I can't wait to see the pictures! Our students exchanged letters with the kids and most of the kids responded with letters to the students. I was quite shocked to receive a few myself. Finally, the time came for us to leave. Bob knew that this moment could linger all night long so he devised a plan to line up all the FTC kids on the way to the truck. Our students would go down the line and hug all the kids and say goodbye. Let me tell you the Wailing Wall had nothing on this firing squad of a line. I followed the last of the students down the line. I was deeply touched by some of the hugs and tears from the kids I had connected with. Even for me it was deeply emotional. Krishelle gave me a huge hug and started sobbing. She ran off to her room and caught me before I got in the truck and gave me a beautiful picture of herself on a decorated piece of paper. I can't wait to get home and email her a picture of me and my family. It will be exciting to hear updates about her and Babilynn, Jesalyn, Lonnie, Bam-bam, Peter, Rowland, Jefferson, and all the other ones I got to know.
Luckily, I convinced Debbie to let me ride in the cab of the truck on the way back to Santa Nino so I didn't have to hear Sob-a-poluza in the back of the truck. It was now time to pack up and get ready to pull out at 4am. Some of the students stayed up all night ,some of us slept for a few hours. The trip had finally come to an end. Now for the travel back!
After seeing the homes we went into town to take care of some errands and headed back to Santa Nino. The dark cloud of dread of the last night get together at FTC was starting to descend. Many of the students were already getting very emotional at the thought of saying goodbye to the kids. On the ride over to Santissimo the tears were flowing. We got out of the truck to find many of the FTC kids in the exact same state. I talked for quite a bit with a girl name Krishelle. She is slender girl with a huge smile and coy eyes. She somehow exudes shyness yet fierceness all at the same time. She seemed especially sad and I was somewhat taken back by the fact that she was expressing it to me. I am really amazed how fast these kids make connections. They are so hungry for tenderness and love because of the backgrounds they come from. For someone who is not used to giving of myself in an emotional way so freely it is a little unnerving. I used the opportunity to share some ICNU stuff with her and give her my motto of Students are the Most Powerful Force on the Planet. I told her that her story was an inspiration to me and others back home and that I was going to continue to share the story of FTC. We all get discouraged at times and can fall victim to the thought that what we do does not matter. Even contemplate giving up, but I told her that what they do at FTC does matter, and it does affect far more people than they realize. They are an inspiration because they have taken the opportunities God has provided and even against remarkable odds have pulled themselves up by the boot straps. I told Krishelle how impressed I was at how the FTC kids were involved in the youth services and the adult services and how they were being the most powerful force by influencing so many people. It was a cool moment, I think for both of us.
The night went on with some games that combined Americano's with Filipino's. It was a ton of fun even for a non-game guy like me. The pinnacle of the evening was a massive cake fight. Most of us were covered in cake from the shoulders up. I can't wait to see the pictures! Our students exchanged letters with the kids and most of the kids responded with letters to the students. I was quite shocked to receive a few myself. Finally, the time came for us to leave. Bob knew that this moment could linger all night long so he devised a plan to line up all the FTC kids on the way to the truck. Our students would go down the line and hug all the kids and say goodbye. Let me tell you the Wailing Wall had nothing on this firing squad of a line. I followed the last of the students down the line. I was deeply touched by some of the hugs and tears from the kids I had connected with. Even for me it was deeply emotional. Krishelle gave me a huge hug and started sobbing. She ran off to her room and caught me before I got in the truck and gave me a beautiful picture of herself on a decorated piece of paper. I can't wait to get home and email her a picture of me and my family. It will be exciting to hear updates about her and Babilynn, Jesalyn, Lonnie, Bam-bam, Peter, Rowland, Jefferson, and all the other ones I got to know.
Luckily, I convinced Debbie to let me ride in the cab of the truck on the way back to Santa Nino so I didn't have to hear Sob-a-poluza in the back of the truck. It was now time to pack up and get ready to pull out at 4am. Some of the students stayed up all night ,some of us slept for a few hours. The trip had finally come to an end. Now for the travel back!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Day 12
This morning it was hard to get up. I konked out last night with a touch of heat exhaustion, so it was hard to get going. Food updates are feeling a touch overdone at this point so I will move on. Today we went to service at the Blue Box. They had lots of stuff going on for Father's Day. By the way - Happy Father's Day Dad! It was extremely hard on me personally since I am really missing my family. But afterwards the FTC kids were all coming up and wishing me a Happy Father's Day with lots of hugs. I imagined it was Destiny and Dylan, so that helped a lot. Bob Clinkert delivered the message with Lonnie interpreting. It was very emotional because Bob is the one that convinced her to come to FTC. I cannot imagine what Lonnie's life would be like had she not made the choice to change her life. She is such an inspiring young woman. It's a weird kind of envy I have for Bob because it's not often you see so clearly a case of saving someones life.
We went to FTC for lunch because one of the workers was having a party for his son's dedication. It was pretty decent and I am abstaining from further food reports. It was fun to interact with the kids for a little bit. We returned to Santa Nino and had a small group time with the team. I am really amazed at this team of students. Even the ones that have been here multiple times seem to have opened themselves up to being impacted in fresh ways. Kelsey, our youngest teammate, had the phrase of the trip. She was talking about how she felt so invested in from this trip and how she was overflowing. She talked about sharing that overflow with people when she got home - and then she called it "The Juice". It seems to have stuck, and now everyone is talking about sharing "The Juice" when they get home. Admittedly it sounds a little gross but it definitely got the point across. I look forward to all the ways this team is going to share "The Juice". Lonnie had come back to Santa Nino with us and she shared with us how much our visits mean to her. It was a powerful way to end the time.
Tonight was "Community". This is Frontline's version of Leadership Community. All the leaders and volunteers from all the ministry sites come to Santa Nino and hang out. We played some of the most vicious games of volleyball ever, for which I earned the souvenir of a skinned knee. Then the entire team, including the FTC kids, gathered for dinner and a time of singing and sharing. Our entire team got an opportunity to go up individually and express how much the trip and Frontline has meant to them. It was great to hear everyone sharing.
I actually kicked the sharing off and was kind of surprised what came out of my mouth. I was quite honest and open about how I felt completely drained leading up to this trip. I certainly did not intend to make any decisions in that moment, but as I shared about the challenges and stresses of ministry life I even expressed that I wasn't sure what was next. In that moment it was made clear to me. In this place I have been wiped clean, laid bare, stripped to the core. My mission is clear - when God calls me to go, I go. My mission field is career ministry in the local church. Until that moment, in front of a group of mostly strangers as of 2 weeks ago, half way around the world, God made it clear to me. I am to stay in ministry and even though my financial future is uncertain, I trust God will provide. As confirmation of my newly made decision, Jeff Pessina closed by talking about why Frontline was such an inspiring place. He approaches Faith and following Jesus in such a simple, pragmatic way. He spoke about how Frontline doesn't do anything that radical. They just live like Jesus is who He said He was. The bizarre thing would be to say we believe what we believe and then do nothing about it. It's that simple for Jeff. He knows his mission field and he knows God will provide. Not always in the way he hopes or expects but God is good.
I think it has been very good for me to be here. It's such a unique experience to be so drained and yet filled all at the same time. I truly believe that "The Juice" is flowing right now and I am rejuvenated and inspired. Frontline is really a blessing to me.
I am ready to go home now.
We went to FTC for lunch because one of the workers was having a party for his son's dedication. It was pretty decent and I am abstaining from further food reports. It was fun to interact with the kids for a little bit. We returned to Santa Nino and had a small group time with the team. I am really amazed at this team of students. Even the ones that have been here multiple times seem to have opened themselves up to being impacted in fresh ways. Kelsey, our youngest teammate, had the phrase of the trip. She was talking about how she felt so invested in from this trip and how she was overflowing. She talked about sharing that overflow with people when she got home - and then she called it "The Juice". It seems to have stuck, and now everyone is talking about sharing "The Juice" when they get home. Admittedly it sounds a little gross but it definitely got the point across. I look forward to all the ways this team is going to share "The Juice". Lonnie had come back to Santa Nino with us and she shared with us how much our visits mean to her. It was a powerful way to end the time.
Tonight was "Community". This is Frontline's version of Leadership Community. All the leaders and volunteers from all the ministry sites come to Santa Nino and hang out. We played some of the most vicious games of volleyball ever, for which I earned the souvenir of a skinned knee. Then the entire team, including the FTC kids, gathered for dinner and a time of singing and sharing. Our entire team got an opportunity to go up individually and express how much the trip and Frontline has meant to them. It was great to hear everyone sharing.
I actually kicked the sharing off and was kind of surprised what came out of my mouth. I was quite honest and open about how I felt completely drained leading up to this trip. I certainly did not intend to make any decisions in that moment, but as I shared about the challenges and stresses of ministry life I even expressed that I wasn't sure what was next. In that moment it was made clear to me. In this place I have been wiped clean, laid bare, stripped to the core. My mission is clear - when God calls me to go, I go. My mission field is career ministry in the local church. Until that moment, in front of a group of mostly strangers as of 2 weeks ago, half way around the world, God made it clear to me. I am to stay in ministry and even though my financial future is uncertain, I trust God will provide. As confirmation of my newly made decision, Jeff Pessina closed by talking about why Frontline was such an inspiring place. He approaches Faith and following Jesus in such a simple, pragmatic way. He spoke about how Frontline doesn't do anything that radical. They just live like Jesus is who He said He was. The bizarre thing would be to say we believe what we believe and then do nothing about it. It's that simple for Jeff. He knows his mission field and he knows God will provide. Not always in the way he hopes or expects but God is good.
I think it has been very good for me to be here. It's such a unique experience to be so drained and yet filled all at the same time. I truly believe that "The Juice" is flowing right now and I am rejuvenated and inspired. Frontline is really a blessing to me.
I am ready to go home now.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Day 11
Sounds like a long time when I look at Day 11. Feels like it too. Today we all sat around the breakfast table and you could just tell it was going to be a hot day. Ironically they served hot dogs for breakfast. At 6:30am the heat was already oppressive. I don't know what the actual temperature was but when the Filipino's are grasping for water you know it's a hot one.
Today we went to Santissimo which is where the Green Box is. We went door to door in the community to follow up after the Crusade and invite them to church. The first home we stopped at we encountered two younger women sitting outside on kubo. This a little bamboo hut kinda thing that is very popular here. We started talking to them and the Filipino we were with, Silver, was sharing his testimony when a rather large lizard crawled onto Jessica. She popped up in a hurry and brushed the lizard off right onto Casey. The lizard ran right up her body, across her face and into her hair. It did a superman off the top of her head. Casey screamed bloody murder and ran for the hills. The look on the 2 women's faces was pretty interesting. Poor Silver waited for the drama to stop and continued on with his story. After Casey stopped crying, we all had a pretty good laugh.
We continued to several more homes and finally the last home we stopped at, our other Filipino interpreter Erwin, shared his testimony and talked to an older woman for quite a bit. He turned to me and said the woman wanted to pray to receive Jesus Christ. I lead her in a prayer through Erwin's interpretation. What a privilege! I had been sitting there trying to stay conscious during Erwin's diatribe, wondering how I had found myself in this position as I poured sweat out in buckets. Erwin snapped me back to reality with the invitation to lead her in a sinner's prayer. It was an interesting example of an ongoing conversation Debbie and I have been having while here. The culture of Frontline is very charismatic and some of the people here seem to attribute everything to God working. Let me give you an example - one guy shared a story how God made a white bread and cheez whiz sandwich taste like the best meal he had ever had. He was serious. He attributed the miraculous to something I would consider mundane. He hadn't eaten anything in awhile, was really hungry and it was really satisfying. Doesn't sound like a miracle to me, just natural hunger and eating. It's easy for me to mock them and think they are just being hyper-spiritual. But then again I wonder how much do I miss in God moving because I am willing to just write it off as something else. I am not suggesting I am going to look for God in cheez whiz sandwich's now, but clearly I am not inviting God to move in my life when I am not looking for how He is working. Sitting in the heat, struggling with the wooziness, I wasn't even looking for God to do something miraculous and what He did was way more than cheez whiz.
After lunch we headed back to Santa Nino. Some of our artists had to get to a rehearsal at the Blue Box for a concert in the evening. I ended up riding around in the truck somewhat pointlessly so when I finally returned to Santa Nino I crashed in my room for a quick napette. The heat was proving to be too much for me.
Romeo and his wife invited us over for dinner that evening before we went to the concert. I was dreading another Filipino meal ,but knew it would be rude to not eat what they had prepared. We walked into his house and there on the table, like manna from heaven, was Tostido's brand salsa, queso, and chips! I almost cried. Romeo recently visited the states and knows how differently we eat so he decided to treat us to Americano food. The main course was pizza. Unfortunately I over-indulged and felt pretty ill the rest of the night but it was worth it.
The concert was really good but it was so hot in the Blue Box. They are working on installed a ceiling which is the next step towards A/C. It is needed badly as I think it was dangerously hot in there. I had to go outside and get fresh air a couple of times. Our students did a great job - especially Allie who did a duet with Rhoda Lynn, Jeff Pessina's daughter. They both have amazing voices and ended with a harmony that gave me chills, which given the circumstances was even more remarkable. After the concert we were going to take the older students out to San Pablo and feed the street children. I really wanted to experience this to better understand where the FTC kids come from but I just couldn't do it. I stayed behind and slept. Apparently it went well.
Today is a little more chill day as we are headed to church in a few minutes. Later all the Frontline staff is coming out from the various locations for a "fellowship". Sounds like fun to me. Only 2 more days left before the long travel home begins. I almost ready to face the flight. Almost.
Today we went to Santissimo which is where the Green Box is. We went door to door in the community to follow up after the Crusade and invite them to church. The first home we stopped at we encountered two younger women sitting outside on kubo. This a little bamboo hut kinda thing that is very popular here. We started talking to them and the Filipino we were with, Silver, was sharing his testimony when a rather large lizard crawled onto Jessica. She popped up in a hurry and brushed the lizard off right onto Casey. The lizard ran right up her body, across her face and into her hair. It did a superman off the top of her head. Casey screamed bloody murder and ran for the hills. The look on the 2 women's faces was pretty interesting. Poor Silver waited for the drama to stop and continued on with his story. After Casey stopped crying, we all had a pretty good laugh.
We continued to several more homes and finally the last home we stopped at, our other Filipino interpreter Erwin, shared his testimony and talked to an older woman for quite a bit. He turned to me and said the woman wanted to pray to receive Jesus Christ. I lead her in a prayer through Erwin's interpretation. What a privilege! I had been sitting there trying to stay conscious during Erwin's diatribe, wondering how I had found myself in this position as I poured sweat out in buckets. Erwin snapped me back to reality with the invitation to lead her in a sinner's prayer. It was an interesting example of an ongoing conversation Debbie and I have been having while here. The culture of Frontline is very charismatic and some of the people here seem to attribute everything to God working. Let me give you an example - one guy shared a story how God made a white bread and cheez whiz sandwich taste like the best meal he had ever had. He was serious. He attributed the miraculous to something I would consider mundane. He hadn't eaten anything in awhile, was really hungry and it was really satisfying. Doesn't sound like a miracle to me, just natural hunger and eating. It's easy for me to mock them and think they are just being hyper-spiritual. But then again I wonder how much do I miss in God moving because I am willing to just write it off as something else. I am not suggesting I am going to look for God in cheez whiz sandwich's now, but clearly I am not inviting God to move in my life when I am not looking for how He is working. Sitting in the heat, struggling with the wooziness, I wasn't even looking for God to do something miraculous and what He did was way more than cheez whiz.
After lunch we headed back to Santa Nino. Some of our artists had to get to a rehearsal at the Blue Box for a concert in the evening. I ended up riding around in the truck somewhat pointlessly so when I finally returned to Santa Nino I crashed in my room for a quick napette. The heat was proving to be too much for me.
Romeo and his wife invited us over for dinner that evening before we went to the concert. I was dreading another Filipino meal ,but knew it would be rude to not eat what they had prepared. We walked into his house and there on the table, like manna from heaven, was Tostido's brand salsa, queso, and chips! I almost cried. Romeo recently visited the states and knows how differently we eat so he decided to treat us to Americano food. The main course was pizza. Unfortunately I over-indulged and felt pretty ill the rest of the night but it was worth it.
The concert was really good but it was so hot in the Blue Box. They are working on installed a ceiling which is the next step towards A/C. It is needed badly as I think it was dangerously hot in there. I had to go outside and get fresh air a couple of times. Our students did a great job - especially Allie who did a duet with Rhoda Lynn, Jeff Pessina's daughter. They both have amazing voices and ended with a harmony that gave me chills, which given the circumstances was even more remarkable. After the concert we were going to take the older students out to San Pablo and feed the street children. I really wanted to experience this to better understand where the FTC kids come from but I just couldn't do it. I stayed behind and slept. Apparently it went well.
Today is a little more chill day as we are headed to church in a few minutes. Later all the Frontline staff is coming out from the various locations for a "fellowship". Sounds like fun to me. Only 2 more days left before the long travel home begins. I almost ready to face the flight. Almost.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Day 10
I sit here nearly speechless. Luckily it is only nearly because this would be a boring blog entry. Seriously though, even as I type this, I had to stop and pray. To praise God. Last night I spoke at the opening night of a tent crusade in the Santismo/Santa Ana buaranguy's. Originally, I had been asked to speak at the Friday night one, but it looked like our team schedule jived with Thursday night better. Unfortunately the decision on whether or not I was going to speak got made fairly late. In fact I went there Thursday night not knowing whether or not I was going to speak. Upon arrival, it was confirmed I would speak, but there was no interpreter available. This started a chain of events that led to me trying to rely on my own strength, and as always I stumbled. Since this opportunity was one of the things I was personally looking forward to on the trip, I got pretty discouraged. I had a pretty good Tim-bashing session last night. So I awoke this morning still feeling a little down. Debbie arranged for everyone on the team to have letters from home that we could open along the way. Thank you Debbie! I can honestly say I don't think I would have made it through the trip without them. I am at least glad I didn't have to try. Anyway, my friend Nick, who is one of the ones I turn to at home when I need support, is one of the ones that wrote me a letter. In typical Nick fashion he had to go above and beyond. So he wrote not 1, but 5 letters - to be opened in sequence at various points along the trip. I am a little behind and so today I opened the 3rd one. It closed with this:
God shows up often in times when I feel inadequate or
when I think I'm doing "it" all wrong. I pray that you
can see God clearly on this trip and maybe even in a moment
when you may feel inadequate in some way - maybe you'll
scream and laugh!
This was incredible timely, since I felt I had done "it" all wrong the night before. I did laugh - I didn't scream since my roommates were still sleeping. It encouraged me and I vowed to allow God to be my strength and stop beating myself up. Breakfast was bowls of cereal which I took as a sign of God's blessing upon my newly made decision.
We traveled to the Alaban mall, which is on the outskirts of Manila, with the FTC kids to go ice skating. The ice skating was fun and the kids had a ball. It was 100 pesos per kid. Roughly $2.50. The thing that struck me was that this mall was nice. Like really nice. Like Fox Valley/Westridge whatever Mall sucks compared to this mall. And I did some comparative shopping and the prices on merchandise was pretty similar to home. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around how a country with such extreme poverty can have these pockets of wealth. The resources to correct a lot of their impoverishedness exist internally. Here is how I finally came to terms with it. There are many nations and areas of extreme poverty in the World. This is not new information. Certainly America and Americans have way more than they need. This too is not new information. A lot of the impoverished areas need aid and financial assistance. The Philippines are apart of that category to a certain extent. But what they, the Philippines, need is a change of heart. They need the hope of Jesus Christ to see that life is more than being in whatever class of society you are born into with no way out, or no responsibility to anyone else. This country needs a change of heart. That's why what Frontline is doing is so important. They are working to meet the needs with outside support, but more than that they are trying to change hearts. To show people a different way of living. I think they are just crazy enough to change this country - 1 baranguay at a time. I am renewed in my conviction that working to establish churches and small groups is how they are doing it. The resources needed to change a nation are substantial, but as I walked around the mall today I see the need for the change is even greater. I am so blessed to have been here and seen the work they are doing - it is such an inspiration and encouragement.
So God is pretty cool. I know this because this afternoon I received an invitation to come back to the tent crusade. I was convinced after last night that not only would I not get invited back, I was going to be kicked out of the sweet A/C room I am in. "Um yeah Tim, we reserve that room for real pastors." Ok, slight exaggeration but needless to say I was surprised. We fit it into the schedule while the rest of the team went to the youth service at the Blue Box. It was movie night and the absence of popcorn was a deal breaker anyway. This time I prayed like no other. I asked God to impact every person there in some way. I asked him to use me as a vessel and I cleared my mind and my heart. I confessed that my strength was gone. I was tired, hungry, and hot. I had a grungy t-shirt on and hadn't shaved in nearly a week. It was hardly Tim Raad at his finest. But God was at His and after some amazing music by the Frontline Band, I got up and with the help of Pastor Romeo delivered the message I had intended to last night. It was a blast! God was definitely there in a powerful way and after Pastor Romeo's alter call and prayer, 40 people came forward. Most of them were young people. My message was on hope and it was as much for me as anyone. Jesus is our hope. Nothing else comes close. It was so exciting to be apart of. For whatever small part I played, it was all God. He moved and all I did was act when He said to act. I got to pray over the group of 40 at the end and I really believe that God is changing this country. I believe He is going to use Frontline to do it. I believe He is going to provide the resources to do it. I believe that I am honored to have been apart of this work. If you are looking for hope - you need look no further than Jesus. If you are looking for where God is working - well it's everywhere but 1 place for sure is here and if you are looking for someplace to invest in the kingdom of God - I think there are some people here that would like to talk to you.
Tonight I go to sleep with the peace and hope and joy that 40 more people have joined the Kingdom of God and become part of the Frontline family. I think I shall rest well.
Goodnight
God shows up often in times when I feel inadequate or
when I think I'm doing "it" all wrong. I pray that you
can see God clearly on this trip and maybe even in a moment
when you may feel inadequate in some way - maybe you'll
scream and laugh!
This was incredible timely, since I felt I had done "it" all wrong the night before. I did laugh - I didn't scream since my roommates were still sleeping. It encouraged me and I vowed to allow God to be my strength and stop beating myself up. Breakfast was bowls of cereal which I took as a sign of God's blessing upon my newly made decision.
We traveled to the Alaban mall, which is on the outskirts of Manila, with the FTC kids to go ice skating. The ice skating was fun and the kids had a ball. It was 100 pesos per kid. Roughly $2.50. The thing that struck me was that this mall was nice. Like really nice. Like Fox Valley/Westridge whatever Mall sucks compared to this mall. And I did some comparative shopping and the prices on merchandise was pretty similar to home. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around how a country with such extreme poverty can have these pockets of wealth. The resources to correct a lot of their impoverishedness exist internally. Here is how I finally came to terms with it. There are many nations and areas of extreme poverty in the World. This is not new information. Certainly America and Americans have way more than they need. This too is not new information. A lot of the impoverished areas need aid and financial assistance. The Philippines are apart of that category to a certain extent. But what they, the Philippines, need is a change of heart. They need the hope of Jesus Christ to see that life is more than being in whatever class of society you are born into with no way out, or no responsibility to anyone else. This country needs a change of heart. That's why what Frontline is doing is so important. They are working to meet the needs with outside support, but more than that they are trying to change hearts. To show people a different way of living. I think they are just crazy enough to change this country - 1 baranguay at a time. I am renewed in my conviction that working to establish churches and small groups is how they are doing it. The resources needed to change a nation are substantial, but as I walked around the mall today I see the need for the change is even greater. I am so blessed to have been here and seen the work they are doing - it is such an inspiration and encouragement.
So God is pretty cool. I know this because this afternoon I received an invitation to come back to the tent crusade. I was convinced after last night that not only would I not get invited back, I was going to be kicked out of the sweet A/C room I am in. "Um yeah Tim, we reserve that room for real pastors." Ok, slight exaggeration but needless to say I was surprised. We fit it into the schedule while the rest of the team went to the youth service at the Blue Box. It was movie night and the absence of popcorn was a deal breaker anyway. This time I prayed like no other. I asked God to impact every person there in some way. I asked him to use me as a vessel and I cleared my mind and my heart. I confessed that my strength was gone. I was tired, hungry, and hot. I had a grungy t-shirt on and hadn't shaved in nearly a week. It was hardly Tim Raad at his finest. But God was at His and after some amazing music by the Frontline Band, I got up and with the help of Pastor Romeo delivered the message I had intended to last night. It was a blast! God was definitely there in a powerful way and after Pastor Romeo's alter call and prayer, 40 people came forward. Most of them were young people. My message was on hope and it was as much for me as anyone. Jesus is our hope. Nothing else comes close. It was so exciting to be apart of. For whatever small part I played, it was all God. He moved and all I did was act when He said to act. I got to pray over the group of 40 at the end and I really believe that God is changing this country. I believe He is going to use Frontline to do it. I believe He is going to provide the resources to do it. I believe that I am honored to have been apart of this work. If you are looking for hope - you need look no further than Jesus. If you are looking for where God is working - well it's everywhere but 1 place for sure is here and if you are looking for someplace to invest in the kingdom of God - I think there are some people here that would like to talk to you.
Tonight I go to sleep with the peace and hope and joy that 40 more people have joined the Kingdom of God and become part of the Frontline family. I think I shall rest well.
Goodnight
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Day 9
This morning I took the 2 suitcases I brought and tried to get a little organized. One of the suitcases is much bigger than the other. I had been using the smaller one for dirty clothes but the time had come to transfer to the big one. So as I packed the remaining clean clothes into the small suitcase I realized the trip was winding down. That is of course bitter sweet because I am anxious to return home but yet don't feel like I am done here yet.
We set off for Baloc after breakfast and a quick team meeting. We got a little feedback from the students on their small group time with the FTC kids last night. I was really impressed with all the groups and what they decided to cover with the kids. This group of students is pretty amazing. They seem to have boundless energy which I appreciate except when we are crammed into a van and they break out in song. Then I dream of emo kids.
At Baloc we went door to door again which of course is a funny expression to use for homes that have no front doors. We distributed some of the StuCo clothing that was donated. StuCo is global and coming to a garbage dump near you - so watch out! We prayed for a lot of the families and some of the students shared words of encouragement and prayed. I told them since they were shy about that the first time they had better step up or I was going to call them out. I did pick on Ashley and volunteer her at one point. She of course rose to the challenge and did a great job. As we were leaving the dump one of the workers heard we had a mechanic on our team. I assure you I did not label myself as such but I offered what limited knowledge I had. As it turned out the guy who needed help was the bulldozer operator and I almost conned my way into driving it. Probable best I didn't. We don't need relations set back when I run down a building or something.
We returned to Santa Nino for lunch - that is where base camp is. Lunch was a pork chop-ish looking thing. I enjoyed a granola bar - almost out of peanut butter sadly. Speaking of food, yesterday I had to run into a gas station for something and the first thing I saw was Tostido's Salsa. I expect a huge meal of Mexican food when I get home - I have already placed my order with Brandie.
After lunch we returned to Baloc for a concert at the school. Ironically there is a sign in one of the three classrooms that says "cleanliness is next to Godliness". Talk about an unobtainable standard - they are in a garbage dump! The concert consisted of our students doing a few songs, a couple of Filipino's singing a some songs and whoever Noriel could put on the spot to talk. Debbie got to share today. She did a great job and it seemed fitting since we were at a school. Then we handed out donated toothbrushes and toothpaste along with some candy. Seemed an appropriate combination. Baloc is in a beautiful spot. I tried to take a picture of the landscape with Debbie's camera of the beautiful mountains in the background with a mountain of trash in the foreground. I don't think it turned out.
We returned to Noriel's house for dinner. Debbie, Bob and I rushed back to Santa Nino to clean up for the Crusade. First of all, the opportunity to speak on an international stage and share the gospel was something I had really been hoping for. So I was excited when the opportunity came. However it was originally supposed to be tomorrow night and got moved up. When we arrived there was no translator so they asked one of the FTC girls to do it. She did not want to and barely made it through Debbie's testimony moment so when I got up to share the message a guy who spoke little to no English joined me on stage. I got really flustered because of speaking through an interpreter and did absolutely horrible. After I was done, the translator went on for some time when. Apparently my alter call wasn't thorough enough. Much to my surprise a woman came forward. Then the almost the whole audience came forward but I am not sure for what.
I had an experience a few years ago where I attended the wedding of a former employee and friend. He is very polish and so was his fiance. They are also very Catholic so I sat through an incredible long service all in Polish and to this day I am not sure they were actually married since nothing was recognizable to me. I feel the same way about tonight's service. I have no idea what took place and I am not sure what God intended or did. I just have to trust that He did move. He said go and I did. I suppose that is the point of this trip. I want it to be wrapped up in a cute bow and make perfect sense or walk away with this great aha. That doesn't seem to be the way it works. I may never know what happened in that little tent tonight. It frustrates me that I came half way around the world to deliver a solidly below average talk, but in the end I suspect I am the only one that cares about that. It certainly would have been a greater blog entry had it gone differently. My hope and prayer is that the first woman who came forward made a decision about her faith tonight. I prayed before I spoke that selfishly I would love to see many people give their lives to Christ but if just 1 person was impacted it was worth it. Maybe that is what happened. Or maybe she just wanted a closer look at the extremely sweaty Americano with the puzzled look on his face. I did get to pray over the audience that was standing before me, which was an honor and a privilege.
God seems to blow up my expectations a lot - tonight He gave me a little shock and awe. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Ice skating actually, which is pretty unexpected - I may just lay down on the ice and enjoy the coolness. I have no more clean long pants and no socks longer than my gym shoes so it should be interesting. We are taking the FTC kids and I look forward to hanging out with them. Some of them actually think my jokes are funny. They don't get out much.
We set off for Baloc after breakfast and a quick team meeting. We got a little feedback from the students on their small group time with the FTC kids last night. I was really impressed with all the groups and what they decided to cover with the kids. This group of students is pretty amazing. They seem to have boundless energy which I appreciate except when we are crammed into a van and they break out in song. Then I dream of emo kids.
At Baloc we went door to door again which of course is a funny expression to use for homes that have no front doors. We distributed some of the StuCo clothing that was donated. StuCo is global and coming to a garbage dump near you - so watch out! We prayed for a lot of the families and some of the students shared words of encouragement and prayed. I told them since they were shy about that the first time they had better step up or I was going to call them out. I did pick on Ashley and volunteer her at one point. She of course rose to the challenge and did a great job. As we were leaving the dump one of the workers heard we had a mechanic on our team. I assure you I did not label myself as such but I offered what limited knowledge I had. As it turned out the guy who needed help was the bulldozer operator and I almost conned my way into driving it. Probable best I didn't. We don't need relations set back when I run down a building or something.
We returned to Santa Nino for lunch - that is where base camp is. Lunch was a pork chop-ish looking thing. I enjoyed a granola bar - almost out of peanut butter sadly. Speaking of food, yesterday I had to run into a gas station for something and the first thing I saw was Tostido's Salsa. I expect a huge meal of Mexican food when I get home - I have already placed my order with Brandie.
After lunch we returned to Baloc for a concert at the school. Ironically there is a sign in one of the three classrooms that says "cleanliness is next to Godliness". Talk about an unobtainable standard - they are in a garbage dump! The concert consisted of our students doing a few songs, a couple of Filipino's singing a some songs and whoever Noriel could put on the spot to talk. Debbie got to share today. She did a great job and it seemed fitting since we were at a school. Then we handed out donated toothbrushes and toothpaste along with some candy. Seemed an appropriate combination. Baloc is in a beautiful spot. I tried to take a picture of the landscape with Debbie's camera of the beautiful mountains in the background with a mountain of trash in the foreground. I don't think it turned out.
We returned to Noriel's house for dinner. Debbie, Bob and I rushed back to Santa Nino to clean up for the Crusade. First of all, the opportunity to speak on an international stage and share the gospel was something I had really been hoping for. So I was excited when the opportunity came. However it was originally supposed to be tomorrow night and got moved up. When we arrived there was no translator so they asked one of the FTC girls to do it. She did not want to and barely made it through Debbie's testimony moment so when I got up to share the message a guy who spoke little to no English joined me on stage. I got really flustered because of speaking through an interpreter and did absolutely horrible. After I was done, the translator went on for some time when. Apparently my alter call wasn't thorough enough. Much to my surprise a woman came forward. Then the almost the whole audience came forward but I am not sure for what.
I had an experience a few years ago where I attended the wedding of a former employee and friend. He is very polish and so was his fiance. They are also very Catholic so I sat through an incredible long service all in Polish and to this day I am not sure they were actually married since nothing was recognizable to me. I feel the same way about tonight's service. I have no idea what took place and I am not sure what God intended or did. I just have to trust that He did move. He said go and I did. I suppose that is the point of this trip. I want it to be wrapped up in a cute bow and make perfect sense or walk away with this great aha. That doesn't seem to be the way it works. I may never know what happened in that little tent tonight. It frustrates me that I came half way around the world to deliver a solidly below average talk, but in the end I suspect I am the only one that cares about that. It certainly would have been a greater blog entry had it gone differently. My hope and prayer is that the first woman who came forward made a decision about her faith tonight. I prayed before I spoke that selfishly I would love to see many people give their lives to Christ but if just 1 person was impacted it was worth it. Maybe that is what happened. Or maybe she just wanted a closer look at the extremely sweaty Americano with the puzzled look on his face. I did get to pray over the audience that was standing before me, which was an honor and a privilege.
God seems to blow up my expectations a lot - tonight He gave me a little shock and awe. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Ice skating actually, which is pretty unexpected - I may just lay down on the ice and enjoy the coolness. I have no more clean long pants and no socks longer than my gym shoes so it should be interesting. We are taking the FTC kids and I look forward to hanging out with them. Some of them actually think my jokes are funny. They don't get out much.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day 8
Day 8 started pretty early. Frontline has started a leadership development program appropriately called Frontline Training Program. It is for up and coming leaders in the various ministries. It is like our Leadership Residency program back home a little. They meet for devotions at 6am and I was asked, along with Debbie, to facilitate that. The thing that cracks me up about Frontline is how generously they give away ministry opportunities. I only wish they were as liberal with the specific instructions. I was told only that they were working through the book of John and today was John 3. That covers a lot of ground since it seems the format or content was pretty much open to my interpretation. Debbie and I decided to focus on John 3:16 since we have both been into Francis Chan lately. He talked about in his book or a message somewhere that if we really understood John 3:16 our lives would look a lot differently. So I led everyone through a prayerful meditation on that verse. I think I am finally starting to come into my element here because I really enjoyed it. God's Spirit was so powerful in the little tent we met in. It was super emotional and many of the FTP participants were crying as we went through it. I had a little charismatic moment as I prayed over each member of their team. It really started the day out right, especially since I discovered I left my soap and shampoo in the shower yesterday and they disappeared.
We were told as we went to bed last night that the boys would be going to help set up the tent for a crusade outreach event. David our trip coordinator told us we would be leaving at 7:30 Filipino time which meant sometime before noon. We left about 9ish. We drove to the site which was a cleared field in one of the nearby baranguays. It was Billy,Garrett,me and Bob Clinkert. Bobby had to stay back with the girls and "work" on the blog site. Let me just say that putting up a tent that can seat several hundred people is hard freaking work. Especially when it is raining. It started out dry but almost immediately it started to rain. About the time I thought I was soaked the rain shifted gears and really started raining and I discovered how soaked really feels. Rain here I have found, has many more speeds, directions, droplet size, and just general options than rain in the US. The tent was more or less in a raised position and everyone there, probable close to 20 of us, were moving the portable stage trailer into position when one of the supports arms swung loose and hit one of the Filipino's in the head. It was a pretty nasty hit so the driver and one of the Filipino's carry their wounded friend headed for the van. Well all of our stuff was in the van, so we ran after them. We jumped in the van and raced off to the hospital. Now this may not seem significant but bear in mind traffic here is like nothing you have ever experienced before. Let me just say it was a thrill ride to end all thrill rides. We got to the hospital and Bob and I jumped out to help carry Erwin our fallen comrade into the ER. The ER turned out to be a closet sized room off the lobby. The look on everyone's faces as two very wet and muddy Americano's carried in a bloody Filipino was pretty interesting. I got a little concerned they might think we had been the benefactors of the head wound but the suspicion faded. Erwin received a butterfly bandage, a couple of shots, a pain pill and slap on the back for about $15 US dollars. Bob took this as a vindication for non-socialized medicine. I personally was happy to walk to a store and get some soap and shampoo.
On the way home from our hospital adventure I was informed that while the students went to FTC to hang out with the kids and lead some devotional small groups that Bob, Vicky, Debbie and I would get to hang out with Jeff Pessina and his wife Winnie. I really enjoy being around Jeff - he is funny and incredible insightful. His stories about the "early" days of Frontline are always entertaining. He took us to an area of the Philippines that is a lake formed in the crater of an old volcano. It is incredible beautiful. We stopped and toured a couple of the resorts for the rich residents of the Philippines. It is incredible to see such wealth right next to such extreme poverty. Jeff says that the Philippines is a wealthy country masquerading as a third world country. I see why now. We enjoyed a meal with Jeff and Winnie and returned back to base camp.
As the students returned from FTC they are in extremely good spirits. The small groups with the kids were hugely successful. It is great to see all the students working together.
I found out that the crusade we helped with the tent on is starting tomorrow and either tomorrow night or Friday night I get to preach. This was one of my personal hopes for the trip that I would get to preach the gospel on an international stage. I am intimidated but super excited about the opportunity. Sadly most of my good jokes probable won't translate. No Ferris Wheel stories - that's for sure!
I was struck today by the beauty and resources of this country. The culture is so unique to me that you can have wealth and such extreme poverty so close together. In the US we make sure the bad neighborhoods are far removed from the good ones so we don't have to see it. Here they just ignore it I guess. I am not sure which is better. I guess I go back to how I started the day - if I really got John 3:16 than my life would probable look a lot different. I would feel differently about myself because God so loved me - He felt I was worth it even with all my mistakes and shortcomings. I would see the world differently because I would not want them to perish. Maybe that is what I will speak on at the crusade - I don't know yet, but I know I am seeing God in a fresh new way here and that makes all the struggles worth it.
We were told as we went to bed last night that the boys would be going to help set up the tent for a crusade outreach event. David our trip coordinator told us we would be leaving at 7:30 Filipino time which meant sometime before noon. We left about 9ish. We drove to the site which was a cleared field in one of the nearby baranguays. It was Billy,Garrett,me and Bob Clinkert. Bobby had to stay back with the girls and "work" on the blog site. Let me just say that putting up a tent that can seat several hundred people is hard freaking work. Especially when it is raining. It started out dry but almost immediately it started to rain. About the time I thought I was soaked the rain shifted gears and really started raining and I discovered how soaked really feels. Rain here I have found, has many more speeds, directions, droplet size, and just general options than rain in the US. The tent was more or less in a raised position and everyone there, probable close to 20 of us, were moving the portable stage trailer into position when one of the supports arms swung loose and hit one of the Filipino's in the head. It was a pretty nasty hit so the driver and one of the Filipino's carry their wounded friend headed for the van. Well all of our stuff was in the van, so we ran after them. We jumped in the van and raced off to the hospital. Now this may not seem significant but bear in mind traffic here is like nothing you have ever experienced before. Let me just say it was a thrill ride to end all thrill rides. We got to the hospital and Bob and I jumped out to help carry Erwin our fallen comrade into the ER. The ER turned out to be a closet sized room off the lobby. The look on everyone's faces as two very wet and muddy Americano's carried in a bloody Filipino was pretty interesting. I got a little concerned they might think we had been the benefactors of the head wound but the suspicion faded. Erwin received a butterfly bandage, a couple of shots, a pain pill and slap on the back for about $15 US dollars. Bob took this as a vindication for non-socialized medicine. I personally was happy to walk to a store and get some soap and shampoo.
On the way home from our hospital adventure I was informed that while the students went to FTC to hang out with the kids and lead some devotional small groups that Bob, Vicky, Debbie and I would get to hang out with Jeff Pessina and his wife Winnie. I really enjoy being around Jeff - he is funny and incredible insightful. His stories about the "early" days of Frontline are always entertaining. He took us to an area of the Philippines that is a lake formed in the crater of an old volcano. It is incredible beautiful. We stopped and toured a couple of the resorts for the rich residents of the Philippines. It is incredible to see such wealth right next to such extreme poverty. Jeff says that the Philippines is a wealthy country masquerading as a third world country. I see why now. We enjoyed a meal with Jeff and Winnie and returned back to base camp.
As the students returned from FTC they are in extremely good spirits. The small groups with the kids were hugely successful. It is great to see all the students working together.
I found out that the crusade we helped with the tent on is starting tomorrow and either tomorrow night or Friday night I get to preach. This was one of my personal hopes for the trip that I would get to preach the gospel on an international stage. I am intimidated but super excited about the opportunity. Sadly most of my good jokes probable won't translate. No Ferris Wheel stories - that's for sure!
I was struck today by the beauty and resources of this country. The culture is so unique to me that you can have wealth and such extreme poverty so close together. In the US we make sure the bad neighborhoods are far removed from the good ones so we don't have to see it. Here they just ignore it I guess. I am not sure which is better. I guess I go back to how I started the day - if I really got John 3:16 than my life would probable look a lot different. I would feel differently about myself because God so loved me - He felt I was worth it even with all my mistakes and shortcomings. I would see the world differently because I would not want them to perish. Maybe that is what I will speak on at the crusade - I don't know yet, but I know I am seeing God in a fresh new way here and that makes all the struggles worth it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Day 7
It is hard to believe that the trip is half over. Most of the students get really sad when you bring that point up. I do too if I think about the 18 hours of plane rides ahead of me. I cracked open all the letters from home today - that has helped a ton. I am still homesick but I have eaten more in the last few days and even used the toilet paper supply - that's all I have to say about that.
Today was pretty relaxed, although my standards for relaxed have changed quite a bit. After the experience at the docks - the area called Tondo - anything seems tame. We went to the jail this morning. Funny that being in a room full of inmates felt safer than the street feeding, but the atmosphere in that jail facility is so amazingly positive. They have a vibrant group of Christ-followers and leaders. The students got a chance to go into the cell area (not in the cells) and share their testimonies with the inmates. Bob, Jeff Rice and I met with the group leaders and the prison ministry leader Orik. We sang songs together and than got to hear testimonies from some of the inmates. We all shared words of encouragement with them. It was just really remarkable to hear the stories of what the prison was like before Frontline got involved. It made me wonder what Tondo will be like if Frontline makes inroads there in a couple of years.
The afternoon was spent honestly waiting for the FTC kids to get out of school. We had an early supper of spaghetti. They put carrots in their spaghetti sauce! Weird. We went to FTC to play with the kids and took them to a basketball game that Mike, the FTC director played in. It was really a lot of fun. I can feel myself getting dangerously attached to these kids. They are all so sweet and innocent which is all the more amazing given their backgrounds. Tonight Anabelle was my buddy for most of the night. She is in 6th grade and shares a July birthday. Her favorite color is blue and her favorite number is 8. She grilled me with a lot of questions and so I returned the favor.
I did take time out this afternoon to sit in on a training session for Leadership Interns at Frontline. This is a new program they have just started this week and it was fun to interact with the young leaders. I am almost used to the impromptu requests of "share a word of encouragement Brother Tim." Luckily I am rarely at a loss for words.
Tomorrow the boys are going to help set up a giant tent for something. That should be a hoot! The afternoon will start off with some small group time for our team and than back to FTC I think. Part of the team will be going to the hospital where we started our week. I will be interested to hear what stories will come from that.
I cannot say enough good things about Frontline. The car ride to Manila yesterday with Jeff Pessina was great for discussion and I am sure will remain a personal highlight of the trip. Everything I see them doing really seems to have God's blessing on it and I don't sense any prideful credit being taken either. It is really refreshing to be around them. That being said the Philippines are not growing on me as a place to spend a lot more time. I still want to get home as quickly as I can.
Thanks to all of you that sent letters and have responded to blogs or Facebook posts. That means more to me than you will ever know.
Funny thing happened at the prison today. An inmate in his cell and I were talking through the bars. Bear in mind he is in a prison cell with about 12 other dudes and although tidy I don't think clean is a word I would use for it. He was really concerned that our group had been screened for H1N1 in Manila. Seriously?! God Bless His germaphobia but it seemed a little odd to me.
Anyway plan on lots of hugs when I get home. The Filipino's are awfully touchy feely and I am really homesick, so expect a long, lingering hug when I see you next.
Today was pretty relaxed, although my standards for relaxed have changed quite a bit. After the experience at the docks - the area called Tondo - anything seems tame. We went to the jail this morning. Funny that being in a room full of inmates felt safer than the street feeding, but the atmosphere in that jail facility is so amazingly positive. They have a vibrant group of Christ-followers and leaders. The students got a chance to go into the cell area (not in the cells) and share their testimonies with the inmates. Bob, Jeff Rice and I met with the group leaders and the prison ministry leader Orik. We sang songs together and than got to hear testimonies from some of the inmates. We all shared words of encouragement with them. It was just really remarkable to hear the stories of what the prison was like before Frontline got involved. It made me wonder what Tondo will be like if Frontline makes inroads there in a couple of years.
The afternoon was spent honestly waiting for the FTC kids to get out of school. We had an early supper of spaghetti. They put carrots in their spaghetti sauce! Weird. We went to FTC to play with the kids and took them to a basketball game that Mike, the FTC director played in. It was really a lot of fun. I can feel myself getting dangerously attached to these kids. They are all so sweet and innocent which is all the more amazing given their backgrounds. Tonight Anabelle was my buddy for most of the night. She is in 6th grade and shares a July birthday. Her favorite color is blue and her favorite number is 8. She grilled me with a lot of questions and so I returned the favor.
I did take time out this afternoon to sit in on a training session for Leadership Interns at Frontline. This is a new program they have just started this week and it was fun to interact with the young leaders. I am almost used to the impromptu requests of "share a word of encouragement Brother Tim." Luckily I am rarely at a loss for words.
Tomorrow the boys are going to help set up a giant tent for something. That should be a hoot! The afternoon will start off with some small group time for our team and than back to FTC I think. Part of the team will be going to the hospital where we started our week. I will be interested to hear what stories will come from that.
I cannot say enough good things about Frontline. The car ride to Manila yesterday with Jeff Pessina was great for discussion and I am sure will remain a personal highlight of the trip. Everything I see them doing really seems to have God's blessing on it and I don't sense any prideful credit being taken either. It is really refreshing to be around them. That being said the Philippines are not growing on me as a place to spend a lot more time. I still want to get home as quickly as I can.
Thanks to all of you that sent letters and have responded to blogs or Facebook posts. That means more to me than you will ever know.
Funny thing happened at the prison today. An inmate in his cell and I were talking through the bars. Bear in mind he is in a prison cell with about 12 other dudes and although tidy I don't think clean is a word I would use for it. He was really concerned that our group had been screened for H1N1 in Manila. Seriously?! God Bless His germaphobia but it seemed a little odd to me.
Anyway plan on lots of hugs when I get home. The Filipino's are awfully touchy feely and I am really homesick, so expect a long, lingering hug when I see you next.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Day 5 & 6
Day 5 - massive interweb failure - boo!
Day 6 - We made the trek to Manila which is not too far, but subject to traffic jams of truly biblical proportions. Our goal was to leave by 5am - we were close - 6:30am. I don't respond well to schedules that are fluid and that I have absolutely no control over. God is surely trying to teach me patience this week. Our goal in Manila was a baranguay named Divisario. It is in an area called China Town but was not anything like China Town in Chicago. It is a wholesale market area and up til now I have never known crowded. I was lucky enough to ride in the car with Jeff Pessina to Manila and his description of Divisario was that it was "unnatural". I thought this was an odd choice of words, but he explained that he did not think it was God's intention for that many people to live in that little space. There are entire sections of shanty housing that go on for blocks and blocks. Right in the midst of this extreme urban environment, are naked kids running around because they are so poor they have no clothes. It was the most extreme poverty I have ever seen. Jeff Pessina said early in his ministry he lived in one of the shanty towns for 3-4 months. I cannot imagine staying even 1 night. We packed into a crowded alley way and tried to hand out meals, crayons, and new sandals. The pressing crowd was terrifying. We were warned about pick pockets and grab thieves. Within 2 minutes of exiting the car I was brushed by a pick pocket and then I watched her systematically check every other male in the group to see which pocket held a wallet. None did. She appeared to be less than 10 years old. After handing out the sandals an older man held out his hand to me and I thought I would be funny and slap it giving him "five". He snatched my wedding ring and I just barely clenched my fist before he got it off my finger.
We drove a few miles to a mall for lunch at McDonalds and then went to another area along the docks of the China Sea coast. This whole area is a brand new ministry focus for Frontline and we are one of the first groups to go to Divisario with them. Before going over to the dock area we stopped by the Captain of the baranguay. This was to get his security detail to go with us, because the dock areas are some of the toughest, worst areas of the city. A few weeks before us, a group of German missionaries went in there without them and were robbed of everything they had within the first 5 minutes. We drove in and immediately a crowd started forming. I got a very uneasy sense and told the students to all stay in our vehicles. Only the Filipino leaders and adults got out. As soon as the meals materialized it was clear this was unlike any atmosphere we had ever been in. Bob and Jeff Rice climbed on top of the van roof to take video and pictures. The food ran out immediately. We then took 3 backpacks full of bags of candy for the kids and started throwing them into the crowd. I jumped onto the roof with them. It was chaos! Once the candy was gone we were directed back into our vans and whisked out. The desperation and aggressiveness of the crowd was sobering and shocking. For our older students most of all, because the food and candy was served out of the back of their van so they had a front row seat. Tomorrow's small group time should be interesting. I cannot believe how many people live in such crowded, filthy conditions. Jeff was telling us that when one of the little shanty houses catch fire they burn and start a chain that can burn entire sections up to 10-12 blocks long often trapping people inside. They routinely collapse and are havens for drug abuse and crime. The government does little to help or stop it. Occasionally building or property owners complain so the government will bulldoze them down, but they get built right back up. I told Debbie these garbage material structures are like tumors on existing buildings - sometimes 3 or 4 stories high. Suddenly I think Jeff Pessina's description of unnatural is totally appropriate.
Tomorrow we go to the prison. I am looking forward to going to a place where Frontline has an established ministry and more controlled environment. It was such a notable difference to me and gave me an incredible respect for both Jeff's as we got to see what these places are like before they get started. They are truly on the razor's edge of ministry.
I think we are to the half way point. I must not be done here yet because I am not ready to face the long flight home. For probable the first time in my life I am homesick like a grade schooler at summer camp. I guess it's good for me.
A quick rewind to Sunday - Day 5. We took the "trikes" to McDonalds after church. It was the best tasting cheeseburger and fries I have ever had. Trikes are the taxis made of an underpowered motorcycle with a side car. See my facebook for a pic. It was the driver, Rowland (an FTC kid), and me on the seat. Allan, and 2 more FTC kids in the side car for a total of 6 people and roughly 100 cc's of power - not to mention he had to hit the brakes to turn since I was providing the counter weight on the back. Yet it was more thrilling than a roller coaster as the driver could negotiate clearances between my knees and oncoming traffic down to the millimeter. Rowland showed me the place he lived under the mall entrance for 2 years. When I said I was glad he didn't have to live that way anymore he said "praise God". It was a powerful reminder that I should feel the same way - I don't have to live my old way anymore praise God. Why don't I?
Finally, my big revelation of the day was a comment Jeff Pessina made on the drive to Manila. He was commenting on Filipino's complete disregard for traffic laws. He said he wasn't sure why they painted the lines on the pavement - nobody cared. On the way home Debbie and I were chatting and I said that I was always worried about the lines on the pavement in a world where nobody else was. I am not sure what that meant - still not sure but it seems profound. Either that or I am just totally worn out. I did get up at 3:30 am this morning so I could leave an hour and a half late. There's one of those lines again.
Well, I am going to check Facebook one more time and see if I get lucky enough to catch Brandie. It rained here last night and ruined my cyber-date. I don't mind teling, you I cursed a little.
Day 6 - We made the trek to Manila which is not too far, but subject to traffic jams of truly biblical proportions. Our goal was to leave by 5am - we were close - 6:30am. I don't respond well to schedules that are fluid and that I have absolutely no control over. God is surely trying to teach me patience this week. Our goal in Manila was a baranguay named Divisario. It is in an area called China Town but was not anything like China Town in Chicago. It is a wholesale market area and up til now I have never known crowded. I was lucky enough to ride in the car with Jeff Pessina to Manila and his description of Divisario was that it was "unnatural". I thought this was an odd choice of words, but he explained that he did not think it was God's intention for that many people to live in that little space. There are entire sections of shanty housing that go on for blocks and blocks. Right in the midst of this extreme urban environment, are naked kids running around because they are so poor they have no clothes. It was the most extreme poverty I have ever seen. Jeff Pessina said early in his ministry he lived in one of the shanty towns for 3-4 months. I cannot imagine staying even 1 night. We packed into a crowded alley way and tried to hand out meals, crayons, and new sandals. The pressing crowd was terrifying. We were warned about pick pockets and grab thieves. Within 2 minutes of exiting the car I was brushed by a pick pocket and then I watched her systematically check every other male in the group to see which pocket held a wallet. None did. She appeared to be less than 10 years old. After handing out the sandals an older man held out his hand to me and I thought I would be funny and slap it giving him "five". He snatched my wedding ring and I just barely clenched my fist before he got it off my finger.
We drove a few miles to a mall for lunch at McDonalds and then went to another area along the docks of the China Sea coast. This whole area is a brand new ministry focus for Frontline and we are one of the first groups to go to Divisario with them. Before going over to the dock area we stopped by the Captain of the baranguay. This was to get his security detail to go with us, because the dock areas are some of the toughest, worst areas of the city. A few weeks before us, a group of German missionaries went in there without them and were robbed of everything they had within the first 5 minutes. We drove in and immediately a crowd started forming. I got a very uneasy sense and told the students to all stay in our vehicles. Only the Filipino leaders and adults got out. As soon as the meals materialized it was clear this was unlike any atmosphere we had ever been in. Bob and Jeff Rice climbed on top of the van roof to take video and pictures. The food ran out immediately. We then took 3 backpacks full of bags of candy for the kids and started throwing them into the crowd. I jumped onto the roof with them. It was chaos! Once the candy was gone we were directed back into our vans and whisked out. The desperation and aggressiveness of the crowd was sobering and shocking. For our older students most of all, because the food and candy was served out of the back of their van so they had a front row seat. Tomorrow's small group time should be interesting. I cannot believe how many people live in such crowded, filthy conditions. Jeff was telling us that when one of the little shanty houses catch fire they burn and start a chain that can burn entire sections up to 10-12 blocks long often trapping people inside. They routinely collapse and are havens for drug abuse and crime. The government does little to help or stop it. Occasionally building or property owners complain so the government will bulldoze them down, but they get built right back up. I told Debbie these garbage material structures are like tumors on existing buildings - sometimes 3 or 4 stories high. Suddenly I think Jeff Pessina's description of unnatural is totally appropriate.
Tomorrow we go to the prison. I am looking forward to going to a place where Frontline has an established ministry and more controlled environment. It was such a notable difference to me and gave me an incredible respect for both Jeff's as we got to see what these places are like before they get started. They are truly on the razor's edge of ministry.
I think we are to the half way point. I must not be done here yet because I am not ready to face the long flight home. For probable the first time in my life I am homesick like a grade schooler at summer camp. I guess it's good for me.
A quick rewind to Sunday - Day 5. We took the "trikes" to McDonalds after church. It was the best tasting cheeseburger and fries I have ever had. Trikes are the taxis made of an underpowered motorcycle with a side car. See my facebook for a pic. It was the driver, Rowland (an FTC kid), and me on the seat. Allan, and 2 more FTC kids in the side car for a total of 6 people and roughly 100 cc's of power - not to mention he had to hit the brakes to turn since I was providing the counter weight on the back. Yet it was more thrilling than a roller coaster as the driver could negotiate clearances between my knees and oncoming traffic down to the millimeter. Rowland showed me the place he lived under the mall entrance for 2 years. When I said I was glad he didn't have to live that way anymore he said "praise God". It was a powerful reminder that I should feel the same way - I don't have to live my old way anymore praise God. Why don't I?
Finally, my big revelation of the day was a comment Jeff Pessina made on the drive to Manila. He was commenting on Filipino's complete disregard for traffic laws. He said he wasn't sure why they painted the lines on the pavement - nobody cared. On the way home Debbie and I were chatting and I said that I was always worried about the lines on the pavement in a world where nobody else was. I am not sure what that meant - still not sure but it seems profound. Either that or I am just totally worn out. I did get up at 3:30 am this morning so I could leave an hour and a half late. There's one of those lines again.
Well, I am going to check Facebook one more time and see if I get lucky enough to catch Brandie. It rained here last night and ruined my cyber-date. I don't mind teling, you I cursed a little.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Bonus Material
It's hard to pinpoint what is the most shockingly different thing about this place but I am pretty sure it has to be the sheer number of people. I have never seen so many people in one place in all my life. Chicago on a busy day could not even hold a candle to the sea of humanity that you encounter every time we go out. It doesn't matter what time of day - there are people everywhere. I cannot even describe it completely. I never knew how much I craved wide open spaces until I came here.
I am a sensitive person to smells - this is not an ideal location for someone such as me. Not all of them are bad but a lot of them are. Between the constantly burning trash, the diesel fumes, the meats of unknown origin cooking - it is a full assault on the senses. Our mode of transport is a large truck with wooden benches covered by a tarp. I always try to get a spot near the front or the back so I can watch the scenery go by. I know it sounds stupid but it is just so much different.
I also have never been in a situation where I was so significantly in the minority. And for some strange reason it feels like it's the first time many people have seen a white person because people stop and stare at us. It's incredible unnerving. Not that it is ever going to be a problem but clearly I am not cut out for the celebrity lifestyle.
Finally Christine had warned me about the ants but I naively thought growing up in Texas I could handle it. These things are a whole new kind of angry ant. My feet and ankles look like a pregnant woman - swollen if you couldn't figure that out.
I realize those all sound like complaints and I guess they are. I know it sounds incredible naive and "Americano" but it is just so different. At first I saw the English signs and some familiar things like 7-11's and McDonalds and thought well this isn't too different. But the more I am here the more I realize how different it is. It's hard to process it all and I don't ever want to forget any of them so I thought I would record them.
I know my posts have been kind of emo. There is lots of laughter here for sure. This is a fun team. It is a LOUD team. Garrett has made his patented chicken dance a global phenomenon. I fear for peoples impression of America based on this but oh well.
Given this is my normally schedule time to blog I must know go face the reality that is breakfast - God please make it something I could identify in a line up!
Peace out
I am a sensitive person to smells - this is not an ideal location for someone such as me. Not all of them are bad but a lot of them are. Between the constantly burning trash, the diesel fumes, the meats of unknown origin cooking - it is a full assault on the senses. Our mode of transport is a large truck with wooden benches covered by a tarp. I always try to get a spot near the front or the back so I can watch the scenery go by. I know it sounds stupid but it is just so much different.
I also have never been in a situation where I was so significantly in the minority. And for some strange reason it feels like it's the first time many people have seen a white person because people stop and stare at us. It's incredible unnerving. Not that it is ever going to be a problem but clearly I am not cut out for the celebrity lifestyle.
Finally Christine had warned me about the ants but I naively thought growing up in Texas I could handle it. These things are a whole new kind of angry ant. My feet and ankles look like a pregnant woman - swollen if you couldn't figure that out.
I realize those all sound like complaints and I guess they are. I know it sounds incredible naive and "Americano" but it is just so different. At first I saw the English signs and some familiar things like 7-11's and McDonalds and thought well this isn't too different. But the more I am here the more I realize how different it is. It's hard to process it all and I don't ever want to forget any of them so I thought I would record them.
I know my posts have been kind of emo. There is lots of laughter here for sure. This is a fun team. It is a LOUD team. Garrett has made his patented chicken dance a global phenomenon. I fear for peoples impression of America based on this but oh well.
Given this is my normally schedule time to blog I must know go face the reality that is breakfast - God please make it something I could identify in a line up!
Peace out
Day 4
It is still Day 4. As opposed to reporting on it the day after. Today was the most emotional day so far. Breakfast was a dinner-esque dish that looked none too appealing so I went the granola bar route. Peanut Butter is strongly in the lead as my favorite.
This morning we went to Baloc which is the city dump for San Pablo. I think when I heard before that people were living in the dump, I imagined that it wasn't a real dump or some lessor version, but it is a full fledged garbage dump. There beside a breath taking, palm tree laden mountain is an equally breath robbing mound of trash. The land directly adjacent to the dump is public land, so people that cannot afford to rent or own their own property build shanty homes against the barb wire fence surrounding it. You literally have to bend and crawl through openings in the barb wire just to enter the homes. There is a creek which is really just run-off from the garbage that supplies the water for cooking, cleaning, and of course to carry off their waste. The disease potential is more likely to be infected than not. In the midst of this hell on earth is Frontline Ministries and the campus pastor of the soon to be Baloc Campus. His story is pretty remarkable. He was working in other capacities with Frontline and didn't really know anything about Baloc. One night he had a dream and in it he saw a building and the name Baloc. Within a few days he was introduced to what was going on there and knew it was what God was calling him too. So he moved his family into a house near the dump. As I discovered hanging out at his house, if the winds are blowing the right way you can smell the dump. Even if the winds are blowing in your favor, there is a constant parade of trucks carrying their smelly loads past his house. His house that has electricity only when he hooks it up to a car batter. The running water is a pump out in the yard. All to be apart of God's work in this terrible place. I will never make jokes about my cut in pay again.
On our visit to Baloc we visited several families. The last one we visited was a woman whose 7 year old son was killed by a bulldozer moving trash. As we heard her story and looked around at her living conditions, Noreal (I am sure I misspelled that), the campus pastor asked me to share a word of encouragement with her. How in the world do you say anything that isn't incredible trite and stupid? Luckily God gave me the words and we prayed with her. She had stopped coming to the church because it is right across from the funeral parlor where her son had his service so it was just too painful. She said she might come again this Sunday - I hope to see her there.
Frontline has started a program with funds, from among other places, Celebration Generosity at CCC that provides permanent housing for people living at Baloc. Frontline pays a down payment of 28,000 pesos and the families have to pay 300 pesos a month there after, until the home is paid for and theirs. It moves them out of the disease infested dump site and along with programs to create income, such as agricultural and other supply exchanges, gives the families a hope for a better life. With the current exchange rate 28,000 pesos is less than $700 US. The cost to Frontline is a little more but literally for $1200 to $1500, a home can be built for people that are living in total poverty. Frontline has secured finances to build 5 homes and is currently looking to secure more land for a Campus right outside of Baloc and to build more homes. Right now Noreal drives a truck into the dump sight every Sunday morning and picks up 20-30 people for church at the Blue Box.
In the afternoon we went and did a street feeding for people that have built somewhat more permanent homes on public land along the railroad tracks. Tonight we went back to Noreal's house for a bonfire with some of his leaders. Most of them are young people no older than our students. It was amazing to see students being the most powerful force on the planet - from opposite ends of the planet - sing praise songs, sharing testimonies, laughing and joking around a bonfire. God is on the move here. It is so hard but it is so good to be here. I miss home so much it hurts. It's Day 4
This morning we went to Baloc which is the city dump for San Pablo. I think when I heard before that people were living in the dump, I imagined that it wasn't a real dump or some lessor version, but it is a full fledged garbage dump. There beside a breath taking, palm tree laden mountain is an equally breath robbing mound of trash. The land directly adjacent to the dump is public land, so people that cannot afford to rent or own their own property build shanty homes against the barb wire fence surrounding it. You literally have to bend and crawl through openings in the barb wire just to enter the homes. There is a creek which is really just run-off from the garbage that supplies the water for cooking, cleaning, and of course to carry off their waste. The disease potential is more likely to be infected than not. In the midst of this hell on earth is Frontline Ministries and the campus pastor of the soon to be Baloc Campus. His story is pretty remarkable. He was working in other capacities with Frontline and didn't really know anything about Baloc. One night he had a dream and in it he saw a building and the name Baloc. Within a few days he was introduced to what was going on there and knew it was what God was calling him too. So he moved his family into a house near the dump. As I discovered hanging out at his house, if the winds are blowing the right way you can smell the dump. Even if the winds are blowing in your favor, there is a constant parade of trucks carrying their smelly loads past his house. His house that has electricity only when he hooks it up to a car batter. The running water is a pump out in the yard. All to be apart of God's work in this terrible place. I will never make jokes about my cut in pay again.
On our visit to Baloc we visited several families. The last one we visited was a woman whose 7 year old son was killed by a bulldozer moving trash. As we heard her story and looked around at her living conditions, Noreal (I am sure I misspelled that), the campus pastor asked me to share a word of encouragement with her. How in the world do you say anything that isn't incredible trite and stupid? Luckily God gave me the words and we prayed with her. She had stopped coming to the church because it is right across from the funeral parlor where her son had his service so it was just too painful. She said she might come again this Sunday - I hope to see her there.
Frontline has started a program with funds, from among other places, Celebration Generosity at CCC that provides permanent housing for people living at Baloc. Frontline pays a down payment of 28,000 pesos and the families have to pay 300 pesos a month there after, until the home is paid for and theirs. It moves them out of the disease infested dump site and along with programs to create income, such as agricultural and other supply exchanges, gives the families a hope for a better life. With the current exchange rate 28,000 pesos is less than $700 US. The cost to Frontline is a little more but literally for $1200 to $1500, a home can be built for people that are living in total poverty. Frontline has secured finances to build 5 homes and is currently looking to secure more land for a Campus right outside of Baloc and to build more homes. Right now Noreal drives a truck into the dump sight every Sunday morning and picks up 20-30 people for church at the Blue Box.
In the afternoon we went and did a street feeding for people that have built somewhat more permanent homes on public land along the railroad tracks. Tonight we went back to Noreal's house for a bonfire with some of his leaders. Most of them are young people no older than our students. It was amazing to see students being the most powerful force on the planet - from opposite ends of the planet - sing praise songs, sharing testimonies, laughing and joking around a bonfire. God is on the move here. It is so hard but it is so good to be here. I miss home so much it hurts. It's Day 4
Friday, June 12, 2009
Day 3
I realize I am setting a dangerous precedent by blogging everyday, but I cannot guarantee it will continue. Surprisingly I am quite homesick, which has taken me completely by surprise. Blogging and Facebooking feels like a connection to home that I need right now so I am going to try and continue. I get online about half the time I try.
So yesterday was Day 3. We went to Santismo which is the Baranguay where the Green Box is. That is Frontline's second campus. It was cool to see it since I had seen all the pictures from Christine, Melissa, and Katlynn's trip last summer where they worked so hard to get the building opened up. Now a year later the campus is growing. We broke up into teams and went into peoples homes from the campus. The students went with Filipino leaders to follow up on responder cards from Church services. Our leaders went with the Campus pastor whose name I can hardly say let alone spell. It sounds like Ariel kind of but less Disney. We went to the home of a man who is on dialysis. He had a job that was paying for it but they stopped. He needs 6000 pesos a week for the treatment which is more than a lot of people make in a year. He did not get the treatment last week because the family did not have the money. We prayed for him to be healed and for God to provide the money for the treatment. Without a miracle he may die before we leave.
We visited some of their small group leaders which they call Lifegroups. Then we went to the home of family that recently lost their home due to eviction. Needless to say this was a very personal visit for me due to my home foreclosure. However I moved into a cushy townhouse. They moved onto a piece of land and are trying to build a house out of scrap parts and timber from a nearby mountain. It takes the dad 20 minutes to walk to the public land on the mountain and than he chops down a tree and carrys it back on his shoulder. This can take hours depending on how big the tree was. Needless to say I didn't offer to arm wrestle him. They are a family of 7 and when I visited their home it was a tin roof with no walls. It was truly the worst living conditions I have ever seen or could imagine. Their oldest high school age daughter was one of the leaders with our students doing outreach to other families. The campus pastor told us the family committed to and were giving money to the church. Even as I type this I feel this burning in my heart. It is contempt for everything that I am and all that I have become. I despise the smell here and the food is pretty bad and I complain about the lack of ice cubes. They have no walls! And give of themselves more freely than I do. Today we go to Baloc which is the dump site and I will see more of the same. It is my sincere pleasure to pray with these people and stand with them in faith. Little do they know they impact me far more than I will ever impact them.
The heat and lack of sleep is taking it's toll on the team but we continue to press on. So far spirits are mostly good as we deal with the heat and nerves and homesickness. Last night some of students sang & played at the Frontline youth group service. I was extremely proud of our students. I miss StuCo - we would rock their socks off (if they wore any).
I have peeked at breakfast and it is another granola bar meal. See you tomorrow, interweb willing.
So yesterday was Day 3. We went to Santismo which is the Baranguay where the Green Box is. That is Frontline's second campus. It was cool to see it since I had seen all the pictures from Christine, Melissa, and Katlynn's trip last summer where they worked so hard to get the building opened up. Now a year later the campus is growing. We broke up into teams and went into peoples homes from the campus. The students went with Filipino leaders to follow up on responder cards from Church services. Our leaders went with the Campus pastor whose name I can hardly say let alone spell. It sounds like Ariel kind of but less Disney. We went to the home of a man who is on dialysis. He had a job that was paying for it but they stopped. He needs 6000 pesos a week for the treatment which is more than a lot of people make in a year. He did not get the treatment last week because the family did not have the money. We prayed for him to be healed and for God to provide the money for the treatment. Without a miracle he may die before we leave.
We visited some of their small group leaders which they call Lifegroups. Then we went to the home of family that recently lost their home due to eviction. Needless to say this was a very personal visit for me due to my home foreclosure. However I moved into a cushy townhouse. They moved onto a piece of land and are trying to build a house out of scrap parts and timber from a nearby mountain. It takes the dad 20 minutes to walk to the public land on the mountain and than he chops down a tree and carrys it back on his shoulder. This can take hours depending on how big the tree was. Needless to say I didn't offer to arm wrestle him. They are a family of 7 and when I visited their home it was a tin roof with no walls. It was truly the worst living conditions I have ever seen or could imagine. Their oldest high school age daughter was one of the leaders with our students doing outreach to other families. The campus pastor told us the family committed to and were giving money to the church. Even as I type this I feel this burning in my heart. It is contempt for everything that I am and all that I have become. I despise the smell here and the food is pretty bad and I complain about the lack of ice cubes. They have no walls! And give of themselves more freely than I do. Today we go to Baloc which is the dump site and I will see more of the same. It is my sincere pleasure to pray with these people and stand with them in faith. Little do they know they impact me far more than I will ever impact them.
The heat and lack of sleep is taking it's toll on the team but we continue to press on. So far spirits are mostly good as we deal with the heat and nerves and homesickness. Last night some of students sang & played at the Frontline youth group service. I was extremely proud of our students. I miss StuCo - we would rock their socks off (if they wore any).
I have peeked at breakfast and it is another granola bar meal. See you tomorrow, interweb willing.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Day 2
On Day 2 we took the FTC kids to a swimming pool. We drove to a “resort” that would be lucky to reserve even 1 star by US standards but the pool was very nice – there were actually 3 of them. One of the high school age boys, Jefferson, asked me right away if I could swim. He challenged me to a race and based on his lean, athletic appearance the odds were in his favor. However my old swim team days paid off and I beat him convincingly. I gave him some pointers and he asked me tons of questions about how I learned to swim and who taught me. My ego got the best of me when I tried to duplicate his running forward flip into the pool with a nasty face plant into the water. I think I still have water in my sinus cavities. Later in small group with our StuCo students, Jefferson connected with Garrett and they prayed together.
Those of you that know me well know I am not much of a little kid person. I always joke that God gave me extra patience for Jr High age by taking it away for little kids. However as I sat beside the pool area watching the FTC kids and StuCo students playing a little girl nicknamed Bam-Bam approached me. She had me hold her little back pack as she withdrew the contents and repacked them over and over again. Her prized possession was a little toy camera. Eventually she crawled up into my lap. She shares my affection for back scratches and insisted I continuously scratch her back or rub her shoulders. If I dared stop I learned quickly why she has earned the nickname Bam-Bam. I did eventually distract her by giving her my sunglasses to play with which she had to show off to everyone. She lead me along one of the paths around the resort by the hand. She is 5 years old however is barely the size of a 3 year old. She speaks very little although seems to understand quite a bit. Bam-Bam is the youngest of 7 kids I believe. She came to FTC after being horrifically abused and beaten. She barely survived. It was so surreal to be interacting with this innocent child and knowing the tragic circumstances of her short little life so far. FTC not only means a chance at life that she wouldn’t have otherwise, it also means a chance for hope. Hope through Jesus Christ, hope for a future, hope for an education and a better life. I am realizing Hope is the most precious commodity of all over here and one that is sorely lacking more than food or housing.
Day 2 and I am already emotionally moved beyond comprehension. What will the next 11 days hold?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Day 1
Day 1 was hot. Super hot - according to the locals one of the hottest days of the year so far. We had a great breakfast and an orientation with the Frontline staff. It was great to hear from the individual ministry leaders and see their passion for what they do. We toured the facilities such as the school, Blue Box, and FTC home. The students who had been here before were so excited to get back to the FTC and see the children. What they are doing there blew me away - a feeling I think I am going to have to get used too on this trip. To be honest as I walked through the buildings, which in some cases are barely that, I felt sad. These kids are so happy to have this but compared to all that my kids have it is so very little. I kept thinking as I saw their living conditions that we can do better than this. The kids are very happy though and so obviously crave affection, as they just come right up and start touching you and crawling all over you. They have an innocence that is remarkable considering their past. The leaders Mike and Lauren I believe, I have met a lot of new people, live in the most incredible modest accommodations, face nearly insurmountable odds, and constant crisis yet seem to have a joy that goes beyond anything I know. It really hit me when I met Lalo (I am sure that is misspelled). He is the boy they rescued from a shed, naked and starving, sitting in his own waste. He is blind, cannot speak, cannot walk. He has more health problems than they even know. It is so sad yet so incredible inspirational all at the same time.
Later we went to the hospital. Let me just say that I have no intentions of needing medical treatment while I am here. Wow! It was deplorable. We went to the 3rd floor - the surgical wing. It was all people who had either had surgery or were waiting for surgery. I never saw a doctor and saw only 1 nurse, yet there were patients everywhere - 3 or 4 in every room. We went with a woman who goes every week along with some of the older FTC kids and pray for the sick. The second room we went in had 3 patients in 12 x 12 room. It was so hot because before our arrival there were at least 15 people in the room, maybe more. Debbie and I had prayed for people in the first room so it was Billy MacKenzie's turn when we entered the room. The first person was a woman with an obvious chest wound. Our interpreter told us she had attempted to commit suicide by stabbing herself in the chest. Billy prayed, nervously yet sincerely. Our interpreter started talking to her and her husband for several minutes. She then explained that they both wanted to pray to receive Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. We all gathered in the sweaty room holding hands in a place with little hope and prayed with 2 brand new believers. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life. To see the look on Billy's face was priceless. I am sure it was incredible intimidating for him because it was for me! But somehow in God's infinite wisdom and plan we traveled half way around the world to go into some woman's hospital room who felt her life was without hope and we got to deliver the good news to hear and see her eternity changed. Wow! Afterwards we spoke to our interpreter and found that the hospital was for people who had no way to pay for their medical expense and when this woman was discharged in a week or so she had no way to pay for the prescriptions she would need to recover from the surgery. On top of everything else they discovered she had appendicitis and had removed her appendix as well as treat the stab wound. We took some of the money from the StuCo offerings and walked to the pharmacy and bought our new sister's prescriptions. Some of the family members went with us and tearfully accepted them. It was a good day.
We finished the day out back at the FTC playing with the kids. I played more rounds of Uno, with ever changing rules, then I probable have ever played. It was a hard day because of the heat and the fact that I may have had 5 hours of sleep since I left on Monday. We returned home to the Frontline headquarters and I think everyone was asleep by 8:30pm. If this is 1 day I almost fearful of 14 more, but at the same time incredible expectant to see what else God has in store. Watch for students to update our team blog at www.clinkert.com. I look forward to Billy's post especially.
Later we went to the hospital. Let me just say that I have no intentions of needing medical treatment while I am here. Wow! It was deplorable. We went to the 3rd floor - the surgical wing. It was all people who had either had surgery or were waiting for surgery. I never saw a doctor and saw only 1 nurse, yet there were patients everywhere - 3 or 4 in every room. We went with a woman who goes every week along with some of the older FTC kids and pray for the sick. The second room we went in had 3 patients in 12 x 12 room. It was so hot because before our arrival there were at least 15 people in the room, maybe more. Debbie and I had prayed for people in the first room so it was Billy MacKenzie's turn when we entered the room. The first person was a woman with an obvious chest wound. Our interpreter told us she had attempted to commit suicide by stabbing herself in the chest. Billy prayed, nervously yet sincerely. Our interpreter started talking to her and her husband for several minutes. She then explained that they both wanted to pray to receive Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. We all gathered in the sweaty room holding hands in a place with little hope and prayed with 2 brand new believers. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life. To see the look on Billy's face was priceless. I am sure it was incredible intimidating for him because it was for me! But somehow in God's infinite wisdom and plan we traveled half way around the world to go into some woman's hospital room who felt her life was without hope and we got to deliver the good news to hear and see her eternity changed. Wow! Afterwards we spoke to our interpreter and found that the hospital was for people who had no way to pay for their medical expense and when this woman was discharged in a week or so she had no way to pay for the prescriptions she would need to recover from the surgery. On top of everything else they discovered she had appendicitis and had removed her appendix as well as treat the stab wound. We took some of the money from the StuCo offerings and walked to the pharmacy and bought our new sister's prescriptions. Some of the family members went with us and tearfully accepted them. It was a good day.
We finished the day out back at the FTC playing with the kids. I played more rounds of Uno, with ever changing rules, then I probable have ever played. It was a hard day because of the heat and the fact that I may have had 5 hours of sleep since I left on Monday. We returned home to the Frontline headquarters and I think everyone was asleep by 8:30pm. If this is 1 day I almost fearful of 14 more, but at the same time incredible expectant to see what else God has in store. Watch for students to update our team blog at www.clinkert.com. I look forward to Billy's post especially.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Eagle has landed
The trip was long and hard but we arrived in the Philippines last night or rather early this morning - 1am local time. The flight from Chicago to Tokyo was about 13 hours long and truly unpleasant. It seemed almost cruel and unusual to have to then get on a 5 hour flight to Manila. The team is doing great - we had some minor discomforts on the plane but everyone has amazed me with their enthusiasm and cheerfulness. One of the big anxieties for me was the sleeping and eating conditions at Frontline but I have scored probable the best room (it has A/C! & a bed) and the food for breakfast was border-line heavenly. After airplane food admittedly my standards were in need of a makeover. Today we got the orientation and schedule. It is incredibly full and jam packed. I am looking forward to all the experiences but it is going to be an intense 2 weeks. We started the tour of the FTC facilities but came back to the compound for lunch. The Blue Box was great to see and the journey there is a story to tell. Debbie is our unofficial photographer so hopefully I will have some to post soon. In the meantime stay tuned for updates and also check www.clinkert.com for team blogs. Please pray for us and I look forward to sharing the experiences as time and Internet connection allow.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
PI trip updates
I am calling it PI like the cool kids. Although I secretly think they do not spell Philippines out so they don't accidentally spell Philippians or just misspell it all together. Anyway our official trip blog site is up at www.clinkert.com. I will also try to update this site as well but who knows what I will be up for while over there. Anyone interested in twitter updates can do so with the account cccpi. I don't pretend to know how that works - it's like the phone lines which I assume operate by magic or alien technology but somehow it just does.
So much noise
Sometimes after StuCo at Montgomery I like to sit in the building alone. Everyone is gone, the noise has all stopped. There is an odd peace about it that stands in stark contrast to the roar of the crowd. I love the energy in this place when all the students are here, but there is something about that quiet though that is almost intoxicating. For me, especially after a StuCo service that has been a good one where I have had some great conversations with students or heard about a student taking a significant step, it's almost like I can hear in the silence God whispering, "Well done good and faithful servant". I suppose that is somewhat arrogant, but that is what I imagine. It's my alone time with God and it is so peaceful. Usually my own fatigue or hunger is the only thing that can provoke me to move. I often find that silence is something very soothing and spiritual for me - I suspect that is a sign I don't get it enough. In life there is always so much noise, some if it is really good. Too often it may be too much of a good thing, when I am not balancing it with those moments of solitude,reflection and communion with God. So it is, that I find myself sitting alone in the Montgomery building. It is not after StuCo but I am still enjoying the quiet of the building. Even with the frequent interuptions of the dreaded Blackberry, or even chats with Glen as he toils outside, it is nice. The gentle tapping of the keys on my laptop, the odd whirs and grunts from the ice machine, all soothing sounds as I imagine all the moments spent in this building, of kids,students and adults finding their way back to God. It is peaceful. It reminds me of what it is all about. The next several weeks may not afford a lot of solitude, and so I soak it in now like a plant devouring needed water and sunlight. Even in the midst of so much noise I find rest in you Oh Lord.
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